i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
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Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
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Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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