guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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