Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?