end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding