Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
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I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize