You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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