I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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