I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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