so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
