why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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