He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm drive I can fine osifer
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
