i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
people are starting to question the shark bite story
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
