Ambien. No doubt about it.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize