If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I party with great urgency now.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
