I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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