yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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