lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
