Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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