I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swung at the pinata with crutches
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize