You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize