I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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