remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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