If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
