She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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