Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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