70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
