paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
The air taste purple.
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