I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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