Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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