you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
