I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
