her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize