i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.