Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.