If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.