Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
handjob tips. give me some.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
