he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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