one two three fourrrrnication!
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize