It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may now shotgun with the bride
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize