My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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