Dual....:-)
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
