Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Randomize
Follow @tfln