dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.