so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.