How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
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Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
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sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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