Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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