YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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