Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize