She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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