Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
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I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
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Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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