I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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