I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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