I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize