Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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