I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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